I am a Giver… Are you?

If you are a giver and really enjoy giving to people around you like family, friends or even strangers then you must read this. I am a giver and have always been that way for most part of my life and I would be lying if I say I did not gain anything from being a giver. Over the years, I gained a lot of happiness and contentment by giving in whatever way or form I could. It brought me peace, love and happiness. It gives a different meaning to life when you see that you could in some way do something for somebody. I would not call myself a people pleaser but yes, when I see that I could do something in a situation, I do what I can without being asked.

But when things got rough a lot of the people I shared my resources or love with did a disappearing act on me when they were most needed. This caused immense bitterness in me. Even though I understood that it was human nature it was hard to convince myself. After a while, I came to terms with the situation and told myself that we do not have any control over how people react or respond to others needs when it is their turn to return a favor or just be plain nice.

That was the time I told myself that the world around us is changing and people really do not have the time or the energy to genuinely care. We as children have been raised to help people or be nice to everyone around since childhood but as we are growing up we get so busy in our lives that we forget all the small things that make life worthy

After some brooding over, I shrugged off the matter like most things and moved on with my life. That’s when something beautiful started happening for me. I started receiving a lot of love from absolute strangers. People I have never met before would smile at me, ask me if I needed any help for simple and mundane things in life. I started reciprocating back and they gave me back so much more. In just a matter of few weeks we became thick friends. This brought me back to my earlier thoughts.

On deeper thinking I came to the conclusion that when a person gives to another person or community the value of what is given increases ten fold and always returns back to the giver. It is just universal law, the only difference is, we as humans tend to expect the love and kindness from the same people we dispensed our emotions to. The universe does balance out these emotions for us but just not from the same source. My experiences have taught me to believe that the universe works in mysterious ways to give us back in ten fold of what we give. Be it, in the form of love or hate. So, when someone gives you that snide remark, just ignore and make peace with yourself because that someone would likely get it back ten fold from another source.

I got Inked…

Finally!! I got inked…

For years I have wanted to get a tattoo and something or the other stopped me from it. Sometimes, it was my friends who scared me about how painful it would be or sometimes it was just me being not so sure about what I wanted on my body forever. The dilemma ended in Goa.

I visited Goa for my birthday along with my close friends. It was one of the most pleasant and relaxing trips I have ever made. It was fun and very eventful. With my best friends around, what could stop me from getting a tattoo..after all I was just getting inked…I was not doing drugs … 🙂 So, I decided to get it done on my birthday, so I went down to the store along with my friends and looked at the various designs the store had to offer.

I zeroed in on an alphabet which is very close to my heart. It belongs to some really special people in my life that I am grateful to have in my life. And, I wanted an essence of them to be with me no matter where I go or what I do. Once, I settled in on my choice, the process started and yes….it hurt 😦 It didnt hurt me enough to bring me to tears but still it hurt…..

My friends were busy making a video of me getting inked while I was just waiting for it to be done. I will not be posting the video since it is very private but you can see the photograph I will be attaching below.

Since, this is my first tattoo I had my apprehensions as to where I should be getting it. Finally I decided to play it safe and decided to get it done right below my left shoulder on the back . This place would give the choice to either hide/display the tattoo if I wanted to.

Counting my blessings – 1

Talking to him took me back to my childhood…I never knew my grandpa, infact my
grandpa (my dadʼs dad) died even before my parents were married and my momʼs parents lived far away and they rarely visited us. So, this person that I talked to and whom I fondly call “Thathayya” meaning “Grandpa” has been very special in my life. I spent all of my summer holidays at his home during my childhood.

He introduced me to the world of Ramayana and Mahabharata….I used to sit on his lap
all evening listening to his stories that he so interestingly and patiently recited. He never
got mad at me for anything except for once, when I got really less marks in school. I
always had meals at his home, even if i already had my meal at my home….it was a
rule that he strictly followed, I had to eat with him everytime I was at his home.

Even though he was not poor his eating habits were very simple. Every meal of his
contained the same dishes, a delicious ridge gourd curry and rasam along with yoghurt
eaten with “Patiki bellam” (hard sugar). To date, I have not eaten a tastier made ridge gourd curry and every time I eat yoghurt with hard sugar, it makes me nostalgic…

He told me many folk tales, he was very good at enacting the warriors in the folk tales.
He taught me to use the bow and arrow, it was fascinating to me as a child, doing things
that my heroes from the mythological stories did….

During my summer holidays, as soon as my breakfast was done at home, I would go to
his home, which was situated right opposite to my home. I would play with him for a
while and then have my lunch with him. After a short nap on his bed, we would start with
our bow and arrow practice, some days we would also play with his catapult. He used
these weapons, to scare away crows from the trees in his backyard. His backyard had a mango tree, a guava tree and a chickoo tree. So, we snacked on some fruit or the other every single day.

He never scolded/hit me even once through all those years, even when I did the most
dangerous of things…Yes, I did do some dangerous mischief during my childhood, In an
attempt to teach my little sister how to light fire, I actually set his bed on fire, while he
was asleep on it !! He survived it with a burnt hand, but he never said anything to me,
instead he scolded my sister; this action of his didnt mean to me much as a kid, but now
when I look back, I can see how much he loved me and still does…

All he wants from me today is to call him once in 15 days and talk to him…He told me
today how much he loves me….it moved me to tears. He is not usually expressive but I
believe old age does that to people and my grandpa is no exception.He just wanted
some time from my busy schedule to listen to my voice. I wish I could be with him and
tell him stories and make him laugh just like he did when I was a kid..I wish I could
spend more time with him ….Today I live 300 kms away from him but my thoughts have
been with him all day.

New Year Resolutions for 2012

My New Year resolutions for this year are finally here…:-) (Yes, I have been working on these for a while, what to include, what not to include for this year, nice to have and all that :-)) anyways, the list is finally here and I am so looking forward to it with anticipation and excitement.

Usually my new year resolutions have been mostly about losing some weight or saving up some money or picking up a habit that I get insipred of over the past years, but this year, I want to concentrate more on my health and happiness quotient than on the monetary side of life. I strongly believe that health is the best gift you can give to yourself no matter what age you are.

Anyways, my list is here and I plan on checking things off, as and when I achieve them. Ticking items from my list gives me a really good feeling and am waiting to experience it all over again in 2012.

Health: I strongly believe that health is the best gift that we can give ourselves and by being a little prudent we can take good care of our health. This year I plan to get all my medical, dental and vision tests done. These tests would also include the thyroid, diabetes (I am not that old, but I don’t mind being careful ) Every time I plan to get them done, I procrastinate, but this year, I will get them done.

Travel: Travel is something that I am very passionate about and would like to indulge myself as and when possible. Last year has been a good year for travel, for I got to check out the state of Rajasthan, our capital Delhi, the heart of India, Mumbai and the beautiful city Pondicherry. I want to explore more in 2012 and have a list of places that I would want to visit. My list includes the Kailash Manasarovar Yatra, Srinagar to visit the Vaishno Devi temple and also Goa. There is a lot of planning to be done to complete these trips this year and I have already started on some. I would be really happy if I can complete all of what I have listed above. So, wish me good luck 🙂

Exercise: Exercising and eating right have always been on my agenda and I am so grateful that I have these in built within me. I have picked up these as habits and today they have become a part of me. Earlier, I had always wanted to lose weight but this year I would like to burn body fat and gain muscle. This would require me to do strength training and adding more protein to my diet.

Spend more time with family and friends: Spending time with family and friends is one of the most important resolutions because, your family/friends is your support system and when you don’t have them to support you  it can be really frustrating. Spending time with them does not mean taking long vacations, all it requires is  that you spend quality time with them, talking and doing things that they care about. Luckily I am one of those who makes it a point to spend time with family and friends. So, I plan on continuing the same and saving up some good memories for my later years ..

Enjoy Life: Enjoying life comes easy for some but for some it is a constant struggle. Living in the present and letting go of  unpleasant events from the past are very important. Every time we hit a hurdle in our lives, we should say “Even this shall pass” because it is in you to overcome it. Everyone has issues of their own and we should not forget to enjoy life. Staying positive helps in making life more peaceful and enjoyable. So, I plan on being positive and taking it slow to enjoy my life better.

Recipes from my Mom: I love home cooked food especially the food that comes from my mom’s kitchen. I am a huge fan of her culinary skills and would love to adopt that gift from her. Even though i had wanted to write up her recipes and store them for use later on, I haven’t really taken the initiative to do so. So, this year I want to do it because it is high time I learn to cook like her and master some cooking skills.

Learn something new: Learning something new, be it a language, art or anything in fact gives a new leash to our lives. It also helps us explore into new areas and makes our life more interesting. Photography is something that I have wanted to do for quite some time, so this year, I plan to click some good pictures and share it up here. So, be ready you folks 🙂

Fun stuff: Life can get really boring if we continue to live and act sober all the time, it could even turn us into zombies J if we live and play by the rules all the time. So, this year I have planned to do some outrageous stuff (I will only list the ones that I can talk about here :-)) I plan on getting a tattoo and also ear piercings done . I have been planning on these for a while now but just couldn’t do it for some reason or the other. So this is it, 2012 is the year I am going to get a tattoo.

Give: Giving is very important for me because when I give I am happy. I am especially happy when I can provide for a stranger because I will not have any expectations from them when I do it. I somehow cannot relate to the fact that giving must be selfless when it comes to family and friends because I think that it is a two way road and if not today, one shall develop resentment and bitterness when it is not reciprocated. Therefore, I endorse giving or helping strangers a lot. Donating clothes and blood would be ideal. I plan on continuing to donate blood once every 4 months so it can be used by people who need it.

Read and Write: This year I plan on indulging myself into reading books more often. Last year has been good because I got a chance to read some good books written by Indian authors. I would specifically like to mention “The Shiva Trilogy” (more on this in a post soon!!) So, I plan to read more and write more often. I feel lucky that I have this habit of reading because when I imagine myself twenty years from now, I know that even if health doesn’t permit me to trek mountains, I can still read books and dream about trekking J The Alps!

So, this is it from my end for this year, so if you have anything interesting, please take up the tag and let me know so I can read your too.

Happy New Years !!

Regret is a small word…

Regret is a small word but comes with a whole mammoth of emotions tied to it. “I wish, I did not say it”, “I wish, I did not do it” are the kind of phrases that eat you up from within…only if we could take those words back….I believe there is a price for every action of ours, and the price to some actions is regret…may be,  this was the whole heavenly reason why regret is even an emotion. Maybe, it was created by God, so we feel when we hurt someone…

Regret is a gnawing pain from within, it totally takes over your mental attention from everything else around you….it is overwhelming !! The only medicine to this could probably be, in asking for forgiveness. Give the other person the time to understand, why we behaved the way we behaved. I am not saying that it is ok, to say things that you might regret when you are upset, after all we are human, we make mistakes and that is what humansdo !!

But, it is divine to forgive…forgiveness comes from a heart filled with love and compassion. If you have been forgiven in the past, it could mean only one thing, the person you hurt just loves you more than the pain inflicted on them. They love you enough to let you hurt them and not hurt you back. How divine is that…You don’t have to go to a temple in search of God, you can find God, in the heart of the person who can forgive ..

By forgiving, you are not saying that, what the other person did to you is okay, you are merely handing over the responsibility to determine the right/wrong aspect of it to something greater than human. The whole judgement part is lifted off your chest and rests on the  universe to deal with it….

Forgiveness gives you a sense of calmness and peace that is only found in the heart of a child. One should experience it to believe it ! So, why not try, take sometime out today and forgive someone who has really hurt you, leave the pain to the universe and re-live with a sense of peace and warmth

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Eight Great Ideas On How To Spend The New Years Day

New Year’s day is a special day for everyone, no matter what they say. It brings new hope, new dreams, new joys, new challenges, new surprises….It is a beginning that most people look forward to, waiting to see what the year unfolds for them. I am usually super charged in January coz, it also happens to be my birthday month…..so what better way to welcome the New Years !!

With the New Year being so close, I wanted to list out some fun things that could be done on Day One in order to welcome the year with a sense of purpose and anticipation for the rest of the year.

1. Home Sweet Home:

Spend quality time at home with family members. Cooking something special for the family will make it a day to remember for a long time or ordering a takeout will keep you out of the kitchen and give you the luxury to do something that you as a family love to do. Surprising family with gifts will be a great start. Gifts can be simple and thoughtful so you dont have to spend a fortune.

2. Vacation:

Plan a vacation to some exotic place and welcome the new year around great locales, enjoying sumptous food. Vacations will provide you with the peace of mind that you would so definetly need to spruce up the old and not so great memories of the past years. If you are on a budget, you could plan for a vacation to the outskirts of your city or just do a day trip to make it memorable.

3. Spa/Resort:

Spending a day at the spa can do wonders to you and your body. It can totally uplift your mood and get you all ready to take on the new challenges that the new year is going to throw at you. Getting a massage or practicing yoga or meditation is probably one of the best ways to relax and rejuvenate from all the stress.

4. Charity:

Walk up to your wardrobe and take a hard look at all the stuff in there that you have not really used in the last twelve months. This would be the stuff that you might never use, so why not pack them and donate them to those less fortunate people who can actually use them and appreciate them more. This will help you clean up your closet space and also buy you some good karma…:-) If you can donate blood or visit an orphanage and spend time with kids, nothing better than that. We are all ONE  big family and when one truly believes in that fact, the world will become a beautiful place to live in.

5. Adventurous:

Bungee jumping or sky diving would be great but if your location does not provide you with these options then chalk out a plan to do some trekking/hiking into the wilderness. This would be fun and exciting if done with a group of adventurous friends. Being adventurous does not necessarily mean anything you have to be involved in some rigorous activity. Anything that would give you the adrenaline rush that you want can be termed adventurous, so now its your turn to get creative and perform 🙂

6. Prayer/ Thanksgiving:

Spending time in prayer and thanking for all the good things in life that the past year has bestowed upon us would be a great way to start a new year. Bringing in all the positiveness and accepting all the not so good events in life can heal you from within. Just participating in rituals or performing a small puja at home can be very calming and soothing to the soul.

7. Set New goals

Take out a pen and pad and write down all the things that you would like to do in the new year and stick it up somewhere where you can view it everyday. Giving yourselves deadlines will add a zing to your list and keep you on your toes. Prioritize every item in your list and divide these items into Must Dos and Nice to Dos. Striking out each goal as and when achieved will give you the boost that will make you want to complete your entire list. New years is a great time to embark on new journeys, make new commitments, learn new things and the only way to achieve these things is by prioritizing.

8. Connect with friends and extended family:

Keeping in touch with friends has never been easy, thanks to all the social networking sites these days, but connecting to friends and family on a personal level is a hell lot different. Taking the time out to meet with people who mean to you could make a whole lot of difference to your life and theirs too. Socializing is a great way to bond and build healthy relationships. Nurturing relationships that you would like to cherish for life is a great way to begin the new years.

Letter to my twenty year old self ..

Dear me at twenty,

You will learn that people you love the most will hurt you the most…no matter who it is , your parents or your best friends….you will learn to forgive them, accept them for what they are and love them even more..

You will learn that sometimes, no matter what you do, how much you do, it is just not enough and that the only thought that lets you rest is to know that GOD/something supremely powerful is watching you and making your destiny…

You will have one girl, she will change the way you see the world. She will love you, pamper you and give you the strength and encouragement that amazes you to no end…She will change your life forever and for the best !!!

You will endure a lot of pain, but will overcome every single stone thrown at you with grit and confidence. You will realize that self worth is achieved not by winning all the time but by enduring pain and building the strength and courage and moving forward when facing adversity. You will learn that battles waged within ourselves are the toughest battles and these are the ones that make a person strong

You will learn  that no person can be defined as good or bad, situations can change the entire dimensions of morality tremendously…you will learn to not be judgmental and accept people as they are ….

You will realize that not everything that your parents did for you will turn out good for you …they can mean it well, but it might not necessarily be the right thing for you. So, you will make your choices and learn to take responsibility for their mistakes and yours too..

You will realize that there is nothing ideal in this world and that one should learn to love and accept the imperfectness in life to make one’s life beautiful

You will learn that behind every human being there is a story, a story that is filled with love, loss, despair, sorrow, failure, desire, uncertainty… Everyone has a story to tell… Nobody’s life is perfect, its all about how you respond to  whatever happens to you..

You will find love…the love that you always wanted and dreamed about; a person who will accept you the way you are, forgiving you for your misgivings and loving you for yourself … and who supports you with all his heart..

You will also realize that no matter what, the only thing that matters and is important  in life, in the long run is the time that you have spent with your loved ones in loving, caring, sharing and just being together….You will learn to say “I Love You” and will say it every time you feel it and mean it…You will realize that being kind to people, exercising, eating right, smiling and doing nice things to people will pay off indeed..if not today, in the long run….

So, just chill and let it all go…because it will not really matter 12 years from now 🙂

Lots of Love,

Your Older self

 

Texting and Driving?? A big Thumbsdown !!

Image via Wikipedia

Today, I was reading through some news articles and I stumbled upon this
interesting news that I wanted to share here.

” On an average, there is a traffic accident every three minutes in Dubai, while in Abu Dhabi there is a fatal accident every two days.
Now, the interesting part is there has been a dramatic fall in traffic
accidents this week and this fall  has
been directly linked to the three-day disruption in BlackBerry services.

In Dubai, traffic accidents fell 20 per cent from average rates on the days
BlackBerry users were unable to use its messaging service. In Abu Dhabi, the
number of accidents this week fell 40 per cent and there were no fatal
accidents. ”

I find this pretty ridiculous because, no matter how many laws have been
passed people have continued the use of cell phones while driving. Texting
while driving is just so… No! No! How can one text and drive at the same time
using their hands?? How can one even take their eyes off the road to select a
key on their keypad? If the message is so important
shouldn’t you get off the road and send in a detailed text than texting while
driving.

Now, how important can the text be? Is it more important than your life or someone else’s life? Where is your social responsibility? Where is your respect? Is someone going to die if you dont message them? If yes, you should pull off the road and then text them because if not, you might be killing someone else on the road.

It is high time that people realize that it is a a privilege to drive and one should enforce it with utmost respect and responsibility towards the society. It should be remembered that when an accident happens, one could cause irrepairable damage to families involved in the accident. Losing lives or being hospitalized for life cause a lot of trauma and heartaches to the families invloved. They could be life changing and disastrous if kids are involved.

I strongly believe that it is highly offensive to text and drive and is as
equal an offence to drinking and driving under influence because by doing the
act, one is not only putting themselves in danger but also putting the others
on the road in equal danger.

Eight ways to blow off steam when you are angry !!

It is only human to get angry and, when we do get angry, we do things that we
regret later. Well, most times I try to be a model citizen, but sometimes I am just as weak as all of you are 🙂

I have quite a history with anger management and my tryst with anger started when I was pretty young. I watched my parents during whatever little time I spent with them (since, I went to a boarding school) and quite quickly picked up my Dad’s aggressive behavior. As far as I was concerned, my Dad was my Hero. Everytime, he was angry, he got what he wanted. Now, this was what attracted me to the whole idea I guess…I remember getting aggressive as a child at some family do and my relatives gushed that I was just like my Dad …. I was filled with pride, because that was exactly how I had wanted to be. My Dad,  inspite of having anger issues, is considered to be a very righteous person and is very well respected in my hometown. So, when my family started comparing me to my Dad, I was convinced I was doing the right thing.

Firstly, it started off with me just being angry for the sake of being angry and later before I even knew,  it soon turned into a habit. Slowly from just simple tantrums I graduated to serious anger issues. To me, anger was POWER and it could give me whatever I wanted….

I have hurt many people in the process. What started off as an ACTION has
progressed into a HABIT that I had no control over. I was almost expelled from school once for fighting with a classmate (a dear friend now) I have been
punished n number of times for disciplinary reasons. To study in an all girls
school surrounded by nuns and having a behavior as such guaranteed that I was considered taboo by most students and teachers….

By the time, I realized how STUPID I was, it was already too late. How I wish, I could get back all those years of my innocence. Luckily, I did manage to have some good friends from school who to date, have been my best friends. Thank you girls, for being there for me, then and now…

After I have become an adult and had a chance to witness some first hand experiences of what anger can do to you , I learnt it the hard way that I needed to work on my issues.

Coming back to our best ways to blow off steam when your angry, I have included in here some tips that would definitely help you ward off anger, because they did help me.

1. Breathe: This might sound very simple but has a huge impact on
anger or any emotion per say. A couple of deep breaths when your angry will
release a lot of tension and help us to think rationally. Just breathe in and
breathe out while closing your eyes. After a couple of these, the chances of
you lashing out at people is highly reduced.
2. Walk/Run: When you are in the middle of an argument and you do not like
anything that’s been said, Get out of there before you say anything stupid and
get some air. By which I mean, take a long walk. By the time you come back, you would have cooled down and would think more logically on how you could tackle the issue. Or, if you are someone who likes to run, it’s even better. When you perform any activity that involves working your body and sweating, your body releases endorphins which actually make you happy. What better way to end those feeling of anger and resentment??
3. Kick Boxing: Imagine the person you are angry at to be the sand bag and just KICK ASS. After your done punching a few, you will be not only be relieved but also have finished your quota of your daily workout. I think, this is a great way to address anger as you are dealing with your anger head on.

4. Meditate: Meditation is a great way to deal with anger. Transporting yourselfinto a whole new world by just closing your eyes and breathing deeply is an excellent way to deal with anger. Controlling your thoughts when angry might take some time but as you practice, this might probably be the best way to deal with anger because you will come out feeling more energized and refreshed.
5. Journal: Writing a journal can be therapeutic. Putting in words all the
emotions that you go through when you are angry and how you plan to address the issue will help you formulate your thoughts and make your efforts more constructive. When you read through your journal after a couple of weeks, it will also help you to analyze it from a third person’s perspective and help you retrospect you behavior.
6. Play with Pets: If you have a pet, try playing with your pet when you are angry because this can relieve you of your anger and tensions. Pets have a way of displaying their affection and love towards you which most humans cannot. Because, what you see is what you get with them 🙂 So, having a pet, lick you and play with you when you are angry will make you feel loved and relaxed and help ward off your anger.
7. Gardening: For those of you who love plants, is there a better way to deal with anger than to be surrounded by green lush plants? Tending to plants, watering them and  taking care of them gives you a
sense of peace and happiness. People who love to garden say that it is a
therapeutic and a great way of relieving tensions.
8. Hug: Yes, you have read it right, hugs are a great way to deal with anger. When you hug someone you gain a sense of reassurance and calmness that instills the thought “Everything is gonna be okay” It also helps you bond better with people and build healthy relationships. So, whenever you get angry about something, go and HUG someone close to you and see the difference.